There are a few advantages to being single and childless, I must admit I rarely use them, but this past week I decided to take advantage of one of them. Take random trips without asking permission! I opened up the Metropolis and I saw an ad that said, Singapore 9,000 yen!!! That’s about 90 bucks to you all in the States. Well, I called them up and within minutes I was going to Singapore. I had no ideas or preconceived notions about Singapore.I just did it cuz’ I can!
The only real thing I remember hearing about Singapore was the caning incident back in the late 90s. Remember that boy who spray painted a car? Well, I wasn’t too nervous because I’ve never been into graffiti and I think I have enough common sense to stay away from stupidity.
Singapore is a tiny country. It was once a part of Malaysia. There wasn’t much to do there, but I had a nice time walking the city streets, getting a pedi, eyebrow threading and a henna tattoo!!!
What I found more interesting was their psuedo-obedience. In Japan, they don’t have a law that states, no littering. However, it’s understood that one thing you don’t do is throw your trash in the street. It’s just not done. In Singapore there is a fine attached to EVERYTHING. While I was at the airport I talked with the clerk who told me his friend was fined for ditching his cigarette butt on the ground. Can you guess how much this ‘minor’ offense cost him? Well, let’s set the stage before I just throw out the answer. This young man was barely 20, a student, living at home with his family and I know you’ve figured this out, they didn’t know he smoked. So our young friend stood at the bus stop, flicked his butt and wouldn’t you know it? A plain clothes “officer” whipped out his notepad within 10 seconds and slapped a $500 fine on our young lad! $500!!!! Yes, this cost him a lot because now he had to actually tell his parents that he smoked and find a way to pay $500 to the government.
I call it psuedo-obedience because for all the fines attached to everything, people still jay walk, feed the monkeys, and litter. It’s not as prevalent as it is in the States by any means, but it’s still there. Maybe they should just skip the fines and stick with caning on the spot! Could you imagine people all bent over at the waist lining up for a beat down? This might actually be more effective than a fine. After all, the pain of forking over a chunk of change will eventually fade into the distance. But that caning will last forever!
The other day I spoke with my youngest sister. There is a ten year age difference between us. She is a leader of the new school as I struggle and cling to the past. I’m one of the few people in my age group that may actually think that that sagging pants and the N word are obscene. I cling to my outdated mores and values that tell you not to call your best friend a b*&@! I cling to those values that made me who I am today.
So, how did this all come about? Why do I sometimes feel as if I’m an aging parent trying to convince a younger generation of right and wrong? Well, here’s the tale. My sister works at a bank in a small college town. A group of fellow students came to said bank to cash their refund checks. Instead of these youngsters waiting patiently and talking to the tellers with decency in order to get their checks cashed, they resulted to yelling, braggadocio and severe neck rolling. Her view on the subject was that these classmates made her school look bad. My view was that this attitude really didn’t reflect on her university directly. It reflected on blacks as a whole and THEN it made her school look bad.
This may seem like a minor difference.
Resorting to name calling and neck rolling to get things done has long been a pathway to stereotyping. The equivalent in most circles is to call a lawyer. To find someone to else to do your yelling. However, these youngsters haven’t mastered the art of technique. How do you get what you really want without losing your cool?
This situation brings to mind an incident I saw a few years back when I used to live in NY. I was a local fast food chain waiting in line. The entire staff spoke Spanish, from the manager to the fry cook. There were two young women, who couldn’t speak the King’s English, let alone a little espanol. Well, these two were trying to apply for a job. Why did they proceed to insult EVERYONE that worked at the place. The staff were in the middle of rush hour and since they didn’t stop serving customers to give these two women an application, those girls went loco.
First, they said things like, “I don’t even wanna work here! They cain’t even speak English!” Then the friend was like, “Ion know why they takin’ so long! Dang! Don’t they see we wanna’ job!” They conversed in this manner for at least a good three minutes. The manager, who I’m sure could speak English and Spanish, finally gave them applications. Were they grateful? Were they polite? Nope, they rolled their eyes and said things like, “Took them long enough!” Well, I don’t have to be on the hiring committee for that one to know that those aps ended up in the trash.
My point being, we have forgotten how to get what we want with tact and decency. Everyone keeps saying it’s a lack of education. But to tell you the truth, it’s more simpler and cheaper than going to a job training program. It’s called a home training. If someone told them how to act in public, then I’m sure they wouldn’t have had so many problems just getting a job application.
What about your friends? Will they stand their ground? Will they be around?
I have a love hate relationship with facebook. I love the fact that you can reconnect with friends that you haven’t seen in years. I love how you can keep up to date with people that you recently met. I enjoy being able to make comments on things that people that I know are thinking. I enjoy exchanging articles and music and learning more about the world around me.
I hate when I meet someone only once and the next thing I know I’m receiving a friend request. WE are not friends. An acquaintance maybe, but a friend definitely not.
But I have to say thank you for facebook. I was able to reaquaint myself with people who really matter. Some of those people on my page aren’t friends, but regular acquaintances.
Recently I’ve come to terms with the fact that I was a member of a church group that inculcated a strong sense of self-hate and guilt inside of me. Fortunately, because of FB, I’ve been able to reconnect with the young people who were my friends regardless of those words that were spewed from the pulpit.
So thanks FB for reconnecting me with friends!
McCain’s face says, “I’m about to take you over my knee on this one Obama.” But really this was another example of a non-issue being thrown in the furnace just to generate confrontation. The planes were ordered during G.W.’s term. Yes, we know that procurement is an issue, but was it enough of an issue to throw up the hand?
Right now it seems as if Republicans are on the rope. How can the clarify their position in this discussion on the economy? How can they show relevancy when they are not the leaders of the conversation? The dogs are barking. Let’s see how long we can keep them in a cage.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/23/mccain-grills-obama-on-ma_n_169267.html
Seems strange, I started this blog and then I went on vacation. I haven’t had internet access in months. Well, thank goodness for English speakers at NTT Japan!!!! I am now connected to the world wide web!!! Harreruah!
Recent updates…I’ve moved to Tokyo and I’m living in the Big Mikan. At first I was a bit thrown off. I think I was more receptive when I lived in Hiroshima. Now, I’m a bit jaded. So I’m not as open as I used to be. But I’m working on that.
This past weekend was great. I went dancing at www.4thelove.net! Great party! Wonderful vibe!
I arrived at the party around 11 and didn’t leave ’til 6AM. I have to say, there are a lot of underground house scenes, but the real underground is in Chicago. It’s the birth of house, but they get no love. People are enamored with New York and the UK. They are okay, but in Chicago, house is akin to church. Folks are straight gully!
At my first house party, I remember seeing this 250lb. black guy in a bright red, three piece suit. This brother was standing there with a mohawk and pumping the speaker. I had never seen anything like it. When I think of house, I think of letting errythang go! Everything, tension, stress, pain, anguish and this past Saturday, DJ Hiromi 2 played a cut that sent me to the basement parties of Chicago. I was screaming and yelling and jumping up and down. Man it felt good! Some people think, oh, that’s just a religious experience, but the house I know that’s the deal baby. Screw your face up and get ugly! Don’t wear heels! Unless you don’t plan to groove!
This past weekend I spent 3 days on a beach in Japan for an annual music festival. I had a wonderful time. I was drinking and laughing and frolicking in the sea. But a few things irked me.
Some guy walked over to me and was like, “Porsche? Hey Porsche?” I rudely responded with, “My names not Porsche”. Then he said, “You look like this girl, yadda, yadda, yadda….” I cut him off with, “Well, all black girls aren’t named after cars!”
Then he said, “I didn’t mean it like that.” And deep down inside. I knew he didn’t. But I was upset because I was acquainted with the woman he confused me with. Not personally, mind you, but I saw her around the festival. She’s a black girl, slimmer than I am, with dreadlocks that she kept wrapped in a bun at the nape of her neck. Well, lo and behold…I have dreadlocks and mine were styled the same way. So it’s easy to glance at someone and think…oh, that’s…so and so. It’s true. But I realize…I wasn’t upset with him. I was upset with her.
I’m tired of the “I’m going to pretend like you don’t exist syndrome!” See, this is the deal. I always thought that there was an unwritten rule that black people say hello. You don’t have to like me or be my friend, but you say hello. This hello is just a head nod. A way of saying, I see you. But ever since I was in university, I’ve learned that this ain’t true.
The problem is this idea that we are all in the same boat doesn’t resonate with people nowadays. Don’t get me wrong! I don’t think all blacks have to think alike, or like the same music, or have the same friends, but if we are in a gathering and we are the only four minorities. Why can’t we acknowledge it with hello? I mean really. Why play like we don’t see each other? Why put up a wall between us? Why?
Because at the end of the day, even though my name ain’t Porsche, I’m still lumped in the same category.
One of the main things I’ve noticed since I’ve been in Hiroshima is that most gaijin (foreign) men think that gaijin women are desperate. A couple of weeks ago, I was at my local when an American ex-pat, who shall remain nameless, opened our conversation with, “So what do you got? Toys, your fingers? What you do?” To these crude questions I replied with, “excuse me?” His response? “You know ain’t nobody feelin’ you out here. So what you doing?”
Very observant. These men who are drooled and fawned over by women young and old find it almost incomprehensible that maybe some of us gaijin girls are receiving a little attention too.
My reply was, “Uh, I don’t think that’s appropriate!” Then he said, “Well, really, I just wanna see your titties!” Can you believe that? How could someone who is receiving all this lovin’ from my Asian sistas still wanna see my big brown areolas?
The simple response to this could be…men are greedy! However, after deep contemplation and soul searching, I thought, some of these men still miss the sass of a Western woman, whether she’s black or white, brown or yellow, there’s something about a woman who will speak her mind that’s a turn on. It has to be! There’s no question about it!
Since I’ve been here more than one Western man has sexually harassed me. I don’t take it personally, but comments like, “I’m checking for a thong.” or “That’s a real booty, I ain’t seen one of those in a long time.” or downright kissing me without my permission prove to me that they are craving some Western ass.
So to my gaijin girls, who think, I’m in this strange country and nobody really is looking my way. Don’t worry! They are looking! The question is do you want them to?
